GRANDPARENTS
Grandparents are often the "forgotten" victims when a family breaks up.
Children can often lose touch with their grandparents just at a time when they may need them the most. When their need for security, stability and routine is at its most acute, the wider family can maintain much needed continuity in a child's life.
Grandparents have very few legal rights and may feel powerless to help their grandchildren.
Sometimes a divorce means that grandparents have to provide ongoing childcare for their grandchildren for long periods of time, at a time when they were perhaps looking to travel or enjoy their free time in other ways.
Recent research by Oxford University (published June 2008) shows that children do better in life if their grandparents play a big part in their upbringing. They can protect a child from the worst effects of traumas such as divorce or family breakdown.
In the widely acclaimed survey where 1596 children aged between 11 - 16 were interviewed, Professor Ann Buchanan concludes that
“At times of family breakdown and separation, many grandparents played an important role in bringing stability to their grandchildren. Grandparents were also found to be important in times of family adversity and appeared to help the whole family buffer the difficulties.”
The Grandparents Association has lots of useful information on its website.
HOW MEDIATION CAN HELP
- Provide a neutral place to talk about the difficulties you are experiencing
- Improve communication
- Enable the children to express their views
- Look at the options open to you all
USEFUL BOOKS and ARTICLES:
THE ESSENTIAL GRANDPARENTS' GUIDE TO DIVORCE: Making a Difference in the Family -
YOUR CHILD'S DIVORCE - Marsha Temlock
"Grandpa - Can I call you Dad?"
"Grandparents feel the hurt of divorce too"
"Grandparents who parent their children" - Jill Curtis
Divorce, Children and Grandparents Rights - Carole Whereat.
