CHILDREN AND MEDIATION
......... your children, your future .............
Mediation is always child focused and the interests of the children are paramount. The mediator will facilitate discussion with parents/family members to enable them to decide on arrangements for their children.
The issues might be about
- where the children will live,
- the time they will spend with each parent [see our Contact Charts]
- school holidays
- contact with grandparents
- Parents may also wish to discuss financial arrangements with regard to
- pocket money,
- school uniform
- activities
Or, how do parents communicate about
- school trips,
- parent's evening,
- school reports,
- doctor's appointments
- children's social events
Do unmarried fathers wish to discuss parental responsibility? (unmarried fathers of children born before 1 December 2003 do not have automatic parental responsibility).
Children are therefore indirectly involved in mediation. Sometimes it may be appropriate for children to take a direct part in the mediation process. Child Consultation enables children to have a "voice". They are able to talk privately and confidentially to a mediator trained in Direct Child Consultation.
If parents wish their children to talk to a mediator or the children themselves express an interest in taking part in the mediation process, the first step will be a contracting meeting. The mediator will discuss in detail with parents how their children will take part in the process, and how parents will deal with what their children might say.
Feedback is an important part of child consultation.
The mediator will discuss with the children if there is to be any feedback. This may involve a meeting afterwards with the mediator, children and parents. Parents will be asked to sign a parental statement agreeing for their children to be invited to talk with the mediator. Among other things, they would be asked to respect children's wishes if they did not want to give any feedback.
The exception to confidentiality in child consultation is if any child protection issues arose.
There is also an expectation that if children were to take part in the mediation process, parents would agree not to subsequently pursue matters through the courts, as children may then have to talk again to a Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (CAFCASS) officer.
